Th-Dreams

#38 - capricorn~

2012-02-05T21:24:00.000+08:00

haha, promised to come up previously..

but still, no time la.

actually got, yesterday and today.

friday too!

but friday i went to malaysia after tution,

went home at around 2+ near 3.

reached home at about 4... haha :p

went there to 放炮，the usual thing~

but fun uh(:

although i'm somehow afraid of the fire,

but it looks so nice!

i was afraid of fire since small,

but even more since Selina's incident.

a fear ba...

the fear and panic which was in me when i heard about her news on that day,

i'll never forget in my life...

but luckily, she's brave enough to overcome it!

yea... sort of busy during school days..

finally, our class starts to get homework.

although i'm not used to it,

but i try to complete them ok.

sometimes i really dont wanna do it,

but i know i'm like sort of lacking behind abit,

somemore we last class le..

then looking at people from our class some also study everyday,

i tell myself i mustn't fall back too far from them!

but yea, at least i didn't(:

but i was slacking the whole day for yesterday,

after waking up at noon.

today woke up and slack awhile,

then went to do DnT!

looks like i'm somehow slacky for DnT too,

but seems like i spent the most effort doing it.

on twitter,

you'll always see me saying i'm going to do twitter. haha(:

yep, i try to put in more effort in it,

cause it's one of my interest and also, my ability.

design is my interest, technology is my ability!

design is a hard area for me,

but i'm willing to spent my time on technology,

cause i can get the hang of it easily.

if i'm really into doing something on tech,

i can do it with all of my might,

until i really suceed.

just like i like s.h.e,

i can research on them,

try to remember most info from them,

try to get my hands on all of their latest info.

like they got new thing and i'll know it immediately or something.

yea... and today my mood to post was actually cause of this post...

1988_摩羯座：#专属摩羯#

摩羯女生，看不惯很多东西，

包括有时的自己。

她们有底线和原则，

不许触碰和违反，

有些事也许对自己来说没什么，

但就是不想违心，

于是便说出连自己都不想听到的话。

有一种说不出的感觉，

也许又是追求完美的可怕心理在作祟。

when i read this, i felt the tingling feeling of tears.

but obviously,

is feel like crying, not like i'm really crying or something.

somehow felt touched ba...

cause it's like really true.

that's why i always say i'm like a typical capricorn,

whenever a horoscope says about a capricorn,

if it's an accurate one,

normally most of it is describing me..

obviously not all points,

but majority is.

like 95% or something.

it's amazing to see things being so accurate,

but at the same time,

got a feeling of being afraid ba..

it becomes so easy to see thru you..

like what the chinese words say,

i have my principles and rules which i dont wish to break and touched.

sometimes it may seems like it is nothing much,

nothing big,

but i just dont wish to break it,

like it's important or stuff.

a feeling which cannot be speaked,

perhaps cause it's the perfectionist in me.

i think i said before,

capricorns are perfectionist.

i believe it's true,

cause i see that in me.

when i want to do something from my heart,

something i really mean to do it,

something i have interest in,

i would want to do it to my fullest,

make it perfect and stuff...

but i dont like the perfectionist part,

cause in the true world,

nothing can be totally perfect.

there is always space for improvement.

therefore,

i dont like to give myself that much pressure.

that's why i always seems like i dont care or stuff,

not really that i dont care,

but i dont wish to waste that part of energy on things i know is impossible or hard to achieve...

#37 - Random

2012-01-29T20:34:00.000+08:00

i realised i didn't post for quite some time...

since the year started, even for my birthday.

gonna spent some time updating soon,

hopefully in this week.

but, wont be online as often as before..

trying to cut myself off from on-ing the computer.

cause at times, i on the computer but just hang around,

not like i really need it.

just a habit.

but waste time lor..

so gonna try cut it off now.

although i spent abit more time on DnT as compared to other subjects,

but still, it isn't up to date.

i'm like lagging behind where i'm supposed to be now.

therefore, should chiong le.

i'll try my best to do so(:

i know you girls are always encouraging me,

you guys believed in me,

i'll do my best not to fail your hopes and trust!

and yea, i realised my shoutmix isn't working anymore.

will update it soon yea(:

gonna leave now,

got EL and CHEM hw to complete,

and DnT is up for checking on tuesday,

i haven complete my works,

haven take my pictures for brainstorming,

haven thought for the survey questions,

haven got the idea for my artefact.

artefact!! something so important,

something which i have most confidence in.

but i had no clues currently on what to do,

basically because i couldn't do what i thought off.

all too high tech and complicated to be true...

haiz...

#36 - guitar

2011-12-29T18:47:00.000+08:00

just randomly,

previously i was crazily looking for the guitar i wanted online,

finally, i think i found it.

then just now i suddenly felt i should at least keep it in a post or something,

else later i forget... :p

200+, should be near mid end guitars.

but takamine, i think this one sounds good(:

looks not bad uh?

takamine g series, i think the model is g440c.

when i saw this guitar i didn't look for the model,

so had a hard time looking for the model online.

but i guess should be this le ba...

this is the most similar one which i found.

actually i'm still thinking,

but i think i made up my mind to buy already.

just that must i really buy exactly on my birthday?

or march perhaps, belated present... LOL.

or some kind soul wan give me? joking la... so ex...
but i consider so long also cos of the price lor...
after buying this guitar still need get ...
~guitar bag, guitar stand, tuner, capo~...
still got other stuff i think, but i forget le.
those are the most important de.
then bag cost i think 20++?
stand got 10-10 de if i didn't rmb wrongly...
tuner, should be 10-30?
capo is near 20.
so all add up, plus perhaps other things,
need at least 300+ - 400?
but i dont think i have enough lor...
or perhaps the exact amount only.
but those money i save so hard for these 2 years,
just spent like this feels bad...
plus some money is my gran give me de...
but i know i'll spent it sooner or later la...

so, can anyone tell me what to do?
should i get this birthday present?
but i think i can only play it on certain weekends i guess...

#35 - 27 december 2011

2011-12-27T22:57:00.000+08:00

time flies,

it's already 27th of december.

less than a week, it'll be a brand new year!

2012, the year which is said to be doomsday.

although i dont believe in it la,

but who knows what will happen the next minute?

i'm sure it'll be an important year to us,

therefore it'll be a tense year.

although i'm not acting like it is now.

to be frank,

i planned to get myself started this week,

so that i'll be prepared when school starts.

but still, i'm slacking.

i can deceive others, but not myself.

i'm very clear of my own character,

at least during secondary school period?

my studies, always the one which needs attention.

i know my parents put all their hopes on me too,

they are afraid i end up like my brother and stuff.

i know my weakness in studies too,

but somehow dont have the motivation to study.

i know i need to buck up on maths,

most course and stuff requires at least a pass in that.

but idk how do i solve the problem?

cause i have the ability to score,

but perhaps cause i'm more slack or stuff,

i dont do well for major exams.

in fact at times, i do score quite well for minor ones,

but never for the major ones.

really irritating...

not like O's is going to be a minor one..

another thing is the O's which passed,

hopefully at least an A2...

if not, i'm really dead...

other than that,

i'm not sure if i can persevere for the whole of 2012.

it's only a year, i know.

but still, hard work for everyone i guess.

and still,

i said to settle for what i get already,

but i'm still worried for the course.

perhaps, cause i want to do something i can excel in,

and something which i can shine in.

my interest, at the same time, my strength.

but i'm not sure what goes well...

i only knew that music and art was the stuff i go for since young.

writing was my strength,

although i always jump here and there,

but i guess i understand that my writing was sort of good.

during primary sch my speech was quite well also,

i remember about the debate sessions we had in chinese lesson.

and when i sort of quarrel with people,

i could always win them.

but that was when i was young,

now i'm even lazy to pick a fight,

unless i'm really into it.

on the other hand,

art was something which i always liked.

something i admire,

i had the passion in it,

i love looking at art stuff and analyzing it,

but i never had the talent to draw.

that was an area i always longed for,

but never achieved in.

music, i realised was something in my life since young.

everybody like music i guess,

all need music in their life.

it only depends how much you depend on it.

i loved it,

but i know that my singing isn't that great either,

so i wont long for that area,

cause that's too unreal for me.

but i remember since young,

my dad love to sing karaoke.

and i would always like to sing with him,

singing was something i loved when i was young.

but that was during kindergarten i guess...

but i was always shy when relatives come... haha.

and in my memories,

i always on the radio or soundtrack when i was sleeping or stuff,

and i went to sleep my afternoon nap.

i guess that music was something which covered more than half of my life,

if i do recall.

but, isn't it common?

if it is, then i dont think it really can be counted as an interest isn't it...

hmmm... idk why i always think so much about the future...

it's like no point thinking,

cause there is always changes in life.

but still, i guess it's my character.

#34 - christmas celebration

2011-12-24T20:45:00.001+08:00

hehe(:

actually got alot stuff to blog about,

but i'm somehow lazy.

this is something i cfm must blog,

cause it was awesome! (:

sleepover with my darlings,

i think we really always end up crazy together(:

we can always shop together til the shops close.

and for christmas celebration,

really shop for shoes til shop close,

and our log cake ended up in mac cafe cakes.

but still, at least i bought my first heels(:

i know, darlings really try and make an effort to help me change style.

hmmm... then we got home,

and started small party among ourselves(:

and bad ending,

i shall not go into details for that part.

but ending our 12 midnight exchange gift session was unsucessful.

morning all woke up and slack and stuff,

then ending 2+ then we did our gift exchange.

but yea, this year the gifts are awesome!

haha(:

so conclusion was that there was alot fun!(:

hmmm... this post counted short uh.

but cause i cut away alot details,

lazy type and some i dont think i should say out :p

but i love christmas gatherings now!

there's another one with another group on 30th,

but i lazy go leh... so yea, no choice.

but that ktv session all s.h.e songs,

so shiok leh...

haha...

ok la i zao le.

#33 - birthday planning(:

2011-12-18T16:32:00.001+08:00

was simply bored on i think friday night after work,

i should be sleeping as i didn't sleep the night before due to my swollen toe.

but in the end, i realised that it's 1 more month to my birthday,

and started thinking about it,

resulting in me sleeping super late.

16/01/12, a really special date to me i think.

cause i loved the number 16 due to my birthday,

and my old house door number was 116,

so it's like my birthday.

plus it's my 16th birthday next year,

and the one and only 16 birthday in my life.

so although it's O's next year,

i still hope that i can make my birthday a meaningful one(:

16 is an age which somehow holds some meaning too,

not as big as 18 and 21,

but still, is something worth the memories.

therefore, the thought of getting myself a gift next year appears...

plus i was already very interested in getting some items,

therefore it's really tempting.

but once again,

i will have the time to play the instruments,

but not as often i guess...

so was thinking of i should or not.

but still, i somehow has the imaginary mindset for next year's birthday(:

like the cake and stuff...

cause as u know,

awfully chocolate has opened in JP.

but still, the price is quite pricy uh...

therefore, the money comes in again.

my savings might be just enough to get me a guitar and the needed items for it,

but that only happens if i dont spent them.

therefore, i dont really think i would have the spare cash to get a cake from there.

hmmm... but i didn't go see what other stuff available there,

so i cant really say about those also.

but because it's O's year,

i think gathering and outings are harder to plan.

parents wont allow us to go out that often either isn't it...

plus chinese new year is like 7days away from 16th,

so near...

hmmm... so i'm not really sure about the plannings also,

guess will have to go with what's available...

but i'm really considering to get myself a gift,

cause it's a special year,

and also cause i dont normally do that,

so it'll be unique.

but i guess would have to see how much saving's i'm left by then ba...

cause liying go taiwan i asked her to get me some stuff also uh,

not really cheap i guess...

and yea, i still need to get birthday gifts for those january babies,

so it'll cost a bomb too~

#32 - What's Wrong?

2011-12-01T19:03:00.001+08:00

something's wrong with me,

getting more and more depressed...

idk for what also,

there doesn't seems to be a reason...

perhaps i'm worried for next year,

perhaps i think too much.

but the main thing is, i need to solve this stupid thing.

i wont die because of it,

but i dont wanna live my life in this way either.

born in a great country i guess,

but not the suitable one.

the problem i've always been thinking about is still which course to take,

i still couldn't make up my mind.

cause i'm afraid of choosing a course i don't like,

or dont suite me... i guess.

but still, all the course i'm considering seems to be my interest.

but my interest seems to be a dream too.

therefore, the tug-of-war begins.

actually i don't ask for much either...

quote a sentence from 那些年，我们一起追的女孩

柯振东：我希望让这世界因为我而有一点点的不一样。

（or similar la, cause i dont rmb so clearly)

i just wanna make myself useful,

i hope that with me, the world can be a better place,

hope that there would be a slight difference,

even though a slight one will do.

but things are always easier said than done...

i hope that i will be motivated to study next year,

i hope i will.

i would try my best to do it,

i guess.

next year hopefully i wont watch any dramas,

perhaps those on tv,

but not on com.

try my best to pause that.

but i will watch movies,

cause there's afew great movies i have to support in the cinema.

my ella's movies of course.

still got others la.

but i hope that i can throw away all this distressed feeling before 2012,

i know i cant study with this.

i'm a super slacker already,

i need to make a difference to the coming year...

haiz... idk what to do either.

ok la, shall stop here...

i'll try to update the player soon...

thinking of what songs to put first... haha..

haiz...

#31 - I'm Back!

2011-11-29T18:31:00.001+08:00

looking at the date of the previous post,

it's been almost a month since i blogged...

not that i wanna go mia ok.

it's just because my com went crazy,

only allowing me to go online to certain websites with internet explorer.

therefore, even FB and twitter also quite in active.

i had alot things to say,

but i think those i wanted to post long ago i forget liao.

recent stuff to say is,

sunday i went to plaza singapura to see hebe.

was planning to reach there at 10.30,

in the end i reached at 11+.

but who cares, i'm still quite infront.

details i lazy to say le... haha.

photos of that event can go FB see my album or jieqi's (:

i state first, i'm not lesbian ok...

but alot of fans who went to see her had this feeling,

especially this time round.

saw her on jan 16 this year only,

but seeing her again is so different feeling.

she slim down so much,

much more than expected.

in the photos she actually look very skinny already,

but in real life she actually look smaller than that...

haiz...

although artist all super skinny one,

but s.h.e was always the average weight among artist,

the healthier ones, cause they like to eat alot.

but perhaps cause the other 2 isn't around with her,

she eat less stuff or what isit...

like how can she become so skinny within less than a year?!

plus her health gets very poor also...

hmmm... then also,

her eyes are so beautiful(:

got 'dian' one. haha.

as in because when she's signing the album i'm staring at her,

hoping to rmb how she look like in real life.

plus they so chio, cfm will try to rmb her.

then when she suddenly look up,

her eyes meet my eyes,

i chua tio.. haha.

lucky rmb shake hand, but blur blur forget say thank you.

so rudee.... LOL...

but not purposely de la.

but i have to say, her eyes are one of the most beautiful ones among those i've seen.

selina and ella de i dont really rmb le,

but perhaps cause she talk less,

her eyes feels like her voice,

they can tell stories.

haha... idk la... that's my feeling.

then she seems quite happy that day,

or maybe i should say the period she was in sg(:

and i hate plaza singapura de management,

not so good. but got improve from previous time la.

but this time fc did a good job(:

i specifically like one auntie... haha(:

ok la, end here le.

wanted to write something, but now dont feel like again.

anw i'll relink u guys soon,

give me some time yea~

#30 - shopping with mum(:

2011-11-08T16:53:00.001+08:00

ok, update abit about the past few days.. haha(:

sunday went to msia,

cousins house.

played with them and stuff... haha(:

and i became sort of technician, help then fix computer. lols...

but i think it's actually small problem,

not as troublesome as my own computer.

but i think cause they still young, dk how to fix lor.

hmmm...
then played with them at the playground opposite their house,

enjoyed the moments.

but i think cause i'm older,

can't really blend in with what they do then the fight here and there liao.. haha...

went to the netball court there,

i missed netball so much.

but they no more basketball or whatever ball there,

so i couldn't play there.

next time should bring a ball there uh? LOL...

ok, just kidding.. haha. bring ball to msia, so weird. haha..

then walk around, ate pizza and alot more things happen there. haha(:

like normal family gathering,

but i like that(:

although sometimes i feel quite sian la. haha.

hmm.. then yesterday,

early in the morning went shopping with my mum.

went to vivo first,

then this time nichii de season clothes like not so nice.

but idk is old season or new season de,

cause too long didn't go le.

then walked around at vivo,

bought a black jeans at forever 21.

quite cheap, 19 only. haha(:

normal price for jeans,

but i think should be cheap for forever 21 ba. haha...

then went illuma after that(:

went to eat i love taimei there(:

we bought selina and hebe,

which is lemon chicken n bbq chicken.

then i bought a drink which i dont like,

cause i didn't look properly.. LOL...

i feel it's quite nice, the price feels expensive,

but i think it's worth the food(:

wanted to eat it for so long,

finally ate it(:

but i think the crispy chicken which is ella should taste awesome too,

and i wanna eat dk is big s or small s,

which is yan su ji.

LOL...

hmmm... then after eating when to a shop in illuma to get my next year sch bag,

black box de.

but the new designs which i like is all 38,

but idk can last long anot.

but 38 if last less than 1 year then not worth it,

so in the end didn't buy.

then go bugis street walk,

me n my mum like buy so much.

but actually feels alot cause is we 2 add up de... haha.

we bought 3 shirt/dress each. haha...

then i bought a bag made of same material as the black box one,

but it's lifespirit de, so cos 22 only.

then the person count 20 for me. LOL...

the price so far apart... but same material... lol...

but if black box de i would have bought black or other colour,

but i got purple for lifespirit,

cause there de no black, all colourful. LOL...

like purple again.. haha.

then when we leaving i went to get a watch,

cause decided not to buy the replica odm.

then i got purple again. LOL..

then my mum was like i everything purple... haha.

but really, like too much purple le uh...

nxt year even pencil case also purple!

last time black, now purple... haha.

but i wanted to get blue for my bag de...

ended up with purple again.

yea, so counted like shopping spree le lor.

but among the 3 shirts i bought,

like same kind de. LOL...

then got black, blue and white.

white one need to use for work,

but i hope it wont get dirty... LOL...

$18, not very ex,

but that design is the design i was looking for, like for years.

then the black one similar to white,

but sleeve is shorter and the cloth different lor.

then blue one is not like what i normally would wear,

but i suddenly felt like buying it. LOL.

but the style still got similar feeling de.

then my mum was like u need buy different style de ma..

keep buying the same style/kind of shirt.

haha...

but the blue one i tried today,

like quite short. lols...

maybe i'll find a long tank top,

the kind at cotton on to wear inside.

shun bian buy the cardigan i want at cotton on n the shirt, if here got sell lor. haha.

ok, super long post le. wanted to post about the trip, but maybe do it after my 'o'(:

#29 - 謝謝你們愛我的每個人

2011-10-30T21:17:00.003+08:00

謝謝你們愛我的每個人

愛我的每個人
曲：林俊傑/詞：姚若龍

痛在眼中變成淚在心中變成灰
沒有什麼能安慰
怕被時間變成累被想像變成悲
希望都被粉碎

不安有時會崩潰有時會怨懟
好像怎麼對待都不對
看得出你隱藏多少的疲憊
卻還是堅持著愛不斷加倍
讓我感動也讓我愧對

謝謝你們愛我的每個人
在我的人生最像一場惡夢的旅程
陪我掙脫勇敢地去醒來
當我的護衛為我禱告心靈更強韌

謝謝你們愛我的每個人
讓我努力後可以謝謝自己很坦誠
會想不通或絕望到躲開
但你們做的總讓我想堅強負責任為了愛重生

心擺脫夜的黑往藍天而飛被陽光包圍
只為了你一句我笑得好美
我忍住了太漫長的淚

看得出你隱藏多少的疲憊
卻還是堅持著愛不斷地加倍
讓我感動也讓我愧對

haha(: this song, really meaningful(:

when i listened to it,

i actually on the verge of crying.

i didn't cry, cause at home got ppl la.

plus i'm in the living room. LOL...

feel like crying because it's touching,

also because selina's going to get married tomorrow.

feel happy for her,

hope that she will be living in happiness from now onwards(:

because i watched the video alot times,

actually you can feel that she's getting confidence,

and there's actually some pictures which shows how bad is her injury.

i remember one picture is her hugging with her husband-to-be,

and if you look clearly,

you will realise how bad her face was at that time.

it's like the kind of bad sunburn you get,

the kind which your skin will come off de.

her's is worst than that,

but feels like that.

luckily her face is ok now,

although i believe it's not as perfect as before.

then i also remember this, something which really shocked me.

i knew her back got scars and injuries,

but we focus our attention on her health and leg cause it's the worst.

the previous time she appeared in a video, it was the video for their 10th anniversary.

saw the good side of her back,

i thought her back might not be as bad.

but it's bad, after i saw this mv.

there's this picture showing her doing her daily exercise,

i believe it's at the company.

you can see her scar very clearly from there.

that's when i realise,

how bad was this scar...

cause we didn't go through the process,

we'll never understand.

but by looking at the scar on her back,

i can imagine how hard it is for her to actually change her mindset to the current happy one.

because i cant even imagine if that scar is covered over both of my legs.

what more on a girl like her who is an artist, and likes beauty so much.

to overcome so much,

hard to imagine.

if i was her, i think i couldn't make it to this day.

i would give up on myself long ago.

hmmm... i think i'll stop here today(:

enjoy this post kaes(:

perhaps i'll post a post tmr, specially for her wedding.

but her wedding should be held at night uh...

#28 - Life

2011-10-25T15:24:00.000+08:00

hmmm... actually i thought about this days before,

when i was waiting for my sleep to arrive... haha...

i forget what happen at that time also,

but i know i thought about this.

even though i don't believe in 2012,

but we won't know when will the world come to an end will we?

it may end tomorrow,

or end a year later.

we won't know what happens in the next second.

since life is so short,

we should live our life according to what we want,

so that we can have the happiest life isn't it?

like thinking my past 15years, going 16 already,

what did i do?

like time pass so fast,

i reach teenage age so quickly,

few years more i'm gonna become a young adult.

therefore,

i should really plan my way ahead isn't it?

like which way is the one i really want.

i know i want music,

i love music.

but, that is the area which i have the least confidence in isn't it?

like i know my singing isn't really good,

at most an average?

then i'm not really talented in that area also,

cause i wasn't trained from young,

and didn't learn any instruments.

therefore, people always say if you have a dream,

pursue it, you will reach it one day.

but is it really possible?

i know people sacrifice alot in order to achieve their dreams,

the more you want, the harder it is.

therefore, i really don't know if it's a good way.

sometimes i know,

to be easily contented we will live a better life,

we'll be a happier person.

but, who can define that sentence?

is it really possible to achieve simplicity and happiness in such a competitive enviroment?

singapore is all about competing and competing,

we're like born to compete in this world.

without capability and competition,

we'll lose out to others and not be able to achieve a stand in this society,

eventually unable to even feed ourselves.

therefore, how do we achieve happiness?

haha... i know i jump around,

cause some parts which i wanted to say originally was forgotten already.

this i wanted to post in my private blog initially,

but after that i think it doesn't matter,

not that private,

plus not much ppl visit this blog anw... haha...

ok, i think i'll stop here now. haha.

#27 - Exams Over(:

2011-10-15T14:00:00.000+08:00

hehe... yea, at last exams end already(:

but coming with that will be the release of results...

phy p2 i got a2, not bad(:

but i was supposed to be getting a1,

just that my poor time management cost me to lost quite some marks...

the next result i will know is hmt,

hopefully i wont do badly for it ba...

exams end already,

but feel abit boring liao... haha.

suddenly dk which show to watch,

the show i'm watching new episode not out yet.

like super sian de...

hmmm...

i think i will post the overdue post soon, i guess(:

aiya i not sure what to say currently also,

so just stop here. haha.

nan de my post so short...

#26 - partially clear

2011-10-06T13:43:00.000+08:00

this was supposed to be included in yesterday's post,

but i think i forget about it already.

hmmm... yesterday i talked about a teacher ms law.

actually choosing the chinese studies course,

quite much is affected by what happens recently.

also, cause of myself thinking back,

thinking what i really want and suites me best.

actually i have a rough idea which course i would choose already.

the chinese studies course..

the thing which attracts me to the course is the scholarship,

but other than that,

i have a feeling that it might be the place which i should go for.

no matter which part of my passion is in,

actually i think it has certain link to language.

therefore, the course might be a good place for me,

as it is all about chinese.

another thing i consider is because i remember how nice the primary school chinese teachers were,

therefore other than my family speaking chinese,

actually the chinese teachers played an important part in my choice too.

i hope to be like them,

other than teaching the kids about chinese,

i hope to spread my interest of chinese to them or some sort of.

haha...

sounds like a big dream yea...

another reason why i opt for this course is that,

even if i hope to write lyrics,

writing lyrics need a certain standard of language knowledge and experience in life ba...

if considered, i think quite alot famous ppl who write lyrics is in their middle age.

those young ones who have talent,

are those who excel in music, or people like 蓝又时.

lys is someone who has a story behind her,

that is something which makes her grow too.

idk which exact way should i go,

but i know no matter which way,

i think it should be the path i have most confidence in.

therefore, i considered chinese studies.

because if i could enter the scholarship,

that would be an assurance already,

because it proves that i have the ability to excel in that course.

therefore, i think i'll have confidence in it.

hmmm...

one thing i feel bad of,

is that i'm supposed to go for english sup now.

but i didn't go.

i knew i should have went,

can feel that ms Z is trying to help us and stuff...

but haiz...

idk, just don't feel like going.

plus i don't wanna dissapoint her there by going,

but not doing her work.

woke up too late...

so i think the best i can do is use this time wisely ba...

get a pass in english,

then it will be better lo... idk...

ok la, i think i should go le. hehe...

#25 - today

2011-10-05T23:37:00.000+08:00

hmm... today i actually learnt alot,

and some joking stuff happened too(:

jieqi knows... haha.

i think this might be one of the days i enjoy most in yuhua this year,

although i'm super tired when i reached home.

firstly, today mr su came to relief us for 1 period.

he talked quite alot,

some people may feel boring or stuff,

but i actually feel interested towards his speech. haha.

i think because i somehow agrees with it,

plus it sets me thinking even further more and around the topic.

so yea, i like stuff like philosophy which sets me thinking.

i think if there's a subject as philosophy,

i might not ace in it,

but i'll definitely not sleep in the class(:

haha...

hmmm... then it's ms/miss? law,(i still always forget the difference between ms&miss)

i can feel her dissapointment in us somehow...

haiz... but nothing i can do much.

she talked about integrity,

another thing which i will agree on with and think alot.

there's a part of my childhood you people don't know,

a part which i don't wish to tell anyone about.

i think only my family knows about it.

they might forget about it,

but it will always be sort of fresh memories in my mind,

and i will never forget it i think.

because it's something which taught me,

and changed me to become my character now.

i know the important of values in life,

i understand those difficulties of trying to stop something you don't wish to,

but i believe if we try we can achieve,

because i did it.

i know the pain and difficulty to try to change a bad habit,

but as long as you think about the people you love,

you think of the harm you cost to them by hurting their feelings,

eventually, if you care for them, you will change.

i know changes takes alot of time,

because i took a long time too.

but in the end i controlled myself,

i persuaded my mind, body and heart that it's worth it.

because the last thing i hope to see is the people i love being hurt,

and somemore, hurt by me.

ok, stop talking about it... haha.

later people start guessing about the stuff.

hiding the past is a way to try to keep people's trust,

because i know the feeling of losing trust.

i know how hard it is to gain back trust,

that's also another reason why i treat promises so importantly.

if you do realise,

i try my best to achieve what i promised.

even if it's small stuff like meeting time or what,

i try my best to be puntual and reach on time,

because that's the least i feel i should achieve.

promises means alot to me,

it does mean a lot to the society too,

if the society is still as strict as before.

to them, promises is somehow equals to credibility.

because if you don't even take notice of time,

how do they entrust you with important informations and task?

ok i should really get out of that topic. haha.

next would be mrs thong, our last min chem teacher.

i thanked her on twitter, and here now.

i do appreciate her effort to help our class.

mdm masura, i think she tried, but her teaching method is wrong.

while mrs thong maybe we always dislike her or stuff,

but can feel she did try to help us,

and with mdm masura as a comparing teacher,

mrs thong is definitely much better.

those who went through will know it... haha.

at least my chem wasn't in a bad state i think...

cause i did pay attention in mrs wong's lessons,

then my mid year not bad also.

so i think i won't pull my physics down too much, i hope.

i was supposed to be doing chem revision and english hw now,

but the lazy me is here blogging... haha.

like i think alot ppl's blog would be dead at this timing,

but i'm blogging.

hehe...

ok la, talked quite alot le.

i think people who read my blog sometimes quite tired uh...

i read my own post sometimes also lazy.. so long winded... hehe.

but no choice,

i write blog is like writing stories like this... haha.

oh yes. i'm supposed to talk about the hilarious thing. haha

hmmm... this need say from the chem sup.

we have our chem sup at a room in the library,

idk what room is that. haha.

then when i went in i saw yang there studying,

but obviously she didn't see me as she was facing the opposite direction.

then i went out, i think she saw me le. or when i go back in i think.

then when 4, library going close our sup end,

i go out.

baoyu tells yang i think, then yang turns around.

then i wave goodbye at yang,

keep waving.

then i didn't look infront,

when i feel that it's near the door le, i turn around.

guess what i saw?

i saw a black board in front of me,

i almost knocked into it.

haha... like super paiseh lor...
so ended up i laugh at myself,
while walking quickly into the right direction of the door.
then yang saw the whole process... haha.
i think this is somehow can compete with yang's famous incident le,
but mine is hilarious in the expression part i think.
so yang, your incident still wins i think(:
haha... ok la, now late le...

just now my dear com hangs and didn't respond to me...
restart twice which cost more than 15mins,
then it reacts to me.
luckily blogger will auto save,
so only alittle part gone.
else i'm lazy to rewrite again... haha.
kaes, byes.

#24 - updates

2011-10-03T16:58:00.001+08:00

hehe i'm back...
i think i update quite alot ba... haha.
but the post i promised is still not up yet :p
paiseh, i guess that will need to wait til exam ends,
cause uploading photos would need time and i'm lazy to wait.
i don't think i will edit the photos though... haha.
lazy.

hmmm... previous post, ended up my english results wasn't too bad.
i meant oral.
so i don't think i will fail english,
but i think i will fail SS,
which means i will fail my whole elective.
therefore, hopefully my english pass,
because the remaining 5 subjects is impossible to pass all.
if my english fail then i can really byebye,
cause that would mean retain... haha.
but nothing much i can do at this moment too...
cause english i cant really revise last minute,
like what i'm doing for other subjects...

hmmm...
at least i did try to study as i promised myself and you guys,
but i'm not as enthu lor.
i just study mix with slack,
but tries to cut off computer.
i think during secondary school period this exam i cut most hours of computer off le ba.
hehe...
i think my physics should be ok,
cause after the notes i did, the memory is quite refreshed already.
but idk and i'm lazy to do for maths,
which is really all formula and what i really hate currently...
chem, partially the memories might be still there,
but i really dk what to do with moles... haha...
hmmm.... so liddat ba...
just see what i can do about it,
at least i tried to do something this time round.
but normally my exams all goes with logic,
so i just apply what's in my mind and what i can think of,
that's all.
so i guess that's the reason behind my maths being so bad now...
cause maths no logic de... haha...
ok la, i won't crap here le.
this post sort of not that long uh... haha.

#23 - Worries

2011-09-28T16:53:00.001+08:00

i hope the post wont be too long today. haha

but i always type and type,

then an essay come out. haha(:

actually exams coming up, i shouldn't be coming online so often le..

but i wanna listen to some music which is not in my hp,

so gotta on the com.

plus i at least need see the weibo once every night.

ok, that's not the main point.

this time, the worries is actually on studies.

not like what i normally worry about,

the maths and electives.

this time, i even worry about language...

seems like even my language is dropping.

maths, dnt and ss + geo i really have very small percentage of confidence to pass.

maths maybe abit,

but i always don't seem to cope well with it during exams.

so different from my primary school situation.

in the past language i don't really need to worry,

but i know this year my chinese is dropping and dropping-.-

idk why also, maybe because i read less chinese storybook this year?

haiz...

but then chinese at least will get b4 ba...

but hmt this term worst, C standard-.-

really worrying, not what i should score...

my scores are really like roller coaster recently.

english, it's normally average.

and i don't pay extra attention to it either,

cause i believe language is something we study from young,

so the basics are more important.

i don't really worry about it normally too,

cause i average about B4-C5,

at least i won't have to worry about retaining.

but the ms Z,

actually called those A ppl to look at their oral marks 1st.

then til now we haven see our oral marks yet.

i knew from the day i took oral,

my oral cfm bad results.

cause mr T actually wrote alot words beside my name-.-

so if i actually fail my oral,

means i'll have to do very well for compre and compo.

but normally i'll get average only,

plus it depends on the question.

compo question very important,

some i don't think i can even write that good also...

haiz... stress and stress.

like normally worry about those calculation and memorizing already want die le,

now still need to worry about languages...

plus other than the compo format need memorise,

i don't even really know what to study for languages...

normally the more i prepare for language,

the worst i will get cause too stress.

but not possible i don't study english since i don't want to retain.

if i really happen to fail english,

i think i can really go jump building le...

that's the worst thing which could ever happen,

retaining or going to NA.

haiz... idk...

so shitty feeling.

plus i suddenly remember tmr not only got hmt test,

still got ss and the suddenly add de chem test.

shit hell-.-

i really feel like scolding all the vulgarities now-.-

but i cant. control.

ok i think i offline liao.

still wanna watch 1hr of show at night,

better start on all the test before i die tmr.

suddenly,

how i feel i get fever tmr.

but my hmt past results sucks too-.-

argh...

i really need to go out with you girls,

and i still rmb i promised quite some ppl for outings after exams.

#22 - dunearn life

2011-09-22T21:25:00.001+08:00

i know, dunearn life has become history.
i'm not able to return anymore, everything has changed.
i've faced the reality already.
but still, i miss them.
my friends there, the clique, people i know, teachers, and netball mates.
although i only spent a year with them,
we might be close, but not really that close still.
but still, idk why too, i feel quite alot towards them.
hopefully, if i have fate with some ppl, we'll meet in poly in the future.
i remember there's quite a number of good teachers there,
mrs lee, ms doris choong?, the chinese tcher which i forget her name,
even ms chen... haha.
really, a special school which gives me good memories.
after leaving the school,
i actually miss the school.
afterall, i think i'm more adapted to the life there?
might be because of the orientation camp i had there,
might be because of the fun i had there.
looking at netball pictures,
those netballers having fun,
i really actually hoped i was one of them.
but that's impossible already.
even if i joined pioneer sec,
i joined their netball team,
i think everything would still be different.
afterall, the teamwork is built from sec1,
not really someone who transferred in like me can mix in easily.
i know, i would always remember the year i had in dunearn.
i actually even miss wearing the tie,
but my tie was long missing.

very emotional recently, that's the only thing i can say.
cause of the things which happen,
feelings i've got after thinking,
it becomes hard to control the emotions i had tried to keep.
but of course, i wont show it,
neither say it.
i would like to type it out here,
but it's not a capricorn's style to show her weakness isn't it...
capicorns love to hide their weaknesses,
always act strong, even don't show any feeling.
haha, actually not totally for me la.
me this capricorn got no place to express my feelings, (sry quite singlish eh)
therefore, i might write it on my private blog someday,
definitely not today.
but don't feel anything happen or what when you read it,
i can promise i'm fine k?
haha...
i'm strong enough to control myself,
mature enough to know not to do silly stuff.
hmmm... something like this ba.
i don't think any dunearn friends would read my blog already,
so writing here is actually for myself la.
but if one comes,
believe me, i still remember you guys.
even everyone in 1topaz.
i loved the memories we had,
1topaz being so unique.

#21 - recent life

2011-09-22T21:10:00.001+08:00

hehe... i'm back.

moody these days,

basically maybe cause alot things running through in my mind,

plus exams are near.

to be frank, i'm not prepared for it.

haiz...

i know, i'm lazy... haha.

actually got study a little bit,

plus physics teacher help us to revise quite alot already.

but i somehow felt that although i got listen,

but the things didn't go in.

too stressed?

idk...

i just somehow feel lifeless,

school life, bored.

i know it applies to everyone la...

i actually like school,

but recently,

the like feeling is like slowly being covered by boredom.

maybe cause i'm worried for my situation also?

cause my grades are average or slightly below,

and my attention doesn't seem to be on my studies.

even chinese and physics...

chinese is a subject which i should maintain my standard,

but obviously i can sense that my chinese grades are deproving.

how to put it?

normal chinese may not be obvious,

but i know my scores are going up and down,

not even maintaining at a minimum of average A2.

but my o levels are expected to achieve A1-.-

then hmt, even worst...

i know it's deproving alot,

but i'm not doing anything to save it.

from what i get in the past of about B3,

now i'm getting something like C5-C6 grade.

haiz... idk what happen to me either.

tired of life.

maybe because i have no aim too,

i don't know where will i head if i move on.

will there be a place which will suite me?

where will the place be?

where do i belong?

or even, can i pass all my subjects,

getting at least B3 for all?

B3 is the minimum i need to get for all subjects,

cause most courses need to get at least 15points...

i'm not really a talented person,

i don't even know what's my real interest,

what's my talent.

everyone is born with something special,

yet i don't even know what's mine.

i have alot things to say,

but i think i'll stop here today.

i'm so tired... mentally.

plus i care so much about the few groups of ppl,

my dear sisters, SHE, some yuhua ppl, and dunearn ppl.

but alot things are not what i can control.

#20 - 旋风管家

2011-09-21T22:27:00.001+08:00

just a short post today, cause i forget what i wanted to post,

and basically no mood.

sort of tired of schooling days ba... haha.

tired of life.

ok out of topic.

this post is only to remember a sentence i wanna blog about some time later,

when i'm free(:

saw this sentence from 旋风管家.

‘任何梦想都有被事先的价值’

got some feelings to write about this sentence,

but lazy currently... haha.

and i know i shouldn't be watching any shows now,

but i really cannot tahan a life without a place to hide in already.

shows are life that we dream of,

life which we normally won't be so lucky to meet.

they are too wonderful,

that's why they are called life.

because i keep so much things to myself,

i need this dreamy place in shows to relax.

not as if i don't relax normally,

but shows let be regain abit of confidence,

maybe let me get abit more motivated towards studies.

i hope so...

because i'm tired of schooling.

i love school, but i hate it too.

ok i'm out of topic i know.

bye, gonna offline to study for SS,

since i didn't touch any studies today and 3ep of 旋风管家 at night is too much le.

#19 - precious 911

2011-09-11T12:20:00.003+08:00

10 years ago, 911 happened,

i didn't really remember much of it since so young that time.

but roughly know what happen lor.

10 years later on today,

S.H.E turn 10years old.

hehe... actually previous 2 post i'm happy le,

didn't plan to post this.

but midnight when i'm busy doing the 12am post on all websites,

the HIM international music official website actually prepared a surprise...

some fans was complaining that S.H.E should get together on such a meaningful day,

but it's almost impossible for selina to go walking and dancing on the stage now.

then, this video came on the website(:

i must say it's really a great gift.

since i'm not in taiwan or china,

i confirm can't celebrate with them.

so confirm is watch video.

therefore, watching from this video makes no difference. haha(:

just happen that they make an effort to make this day more memorable.

if i'm not wrong,

since the accident happen last year,

this is the 1st time selina got on video(:

wait... should be 2nd ar?

1st time is on news when she got out of hospital.

but this time can see she got great improvements already...

when i saw this video,

i have to admit, i feel like crying... haha(:

i think so rare for me to say that out,

but yes.

it's too touching... haha.

very meaningful to me.

they are still the same S.H.E,

the crazy and funny one,

ella as crazy as ever,

hebe still forgetting her lyrics,

selina still crys easily.

haha...

shall share the video with you guys(:

#18 - S.H.E

2011-09-11T00:10:00.004+08:00

Happy 10th year anniversary S.H.E!

三只生日快乐！

我不像很多歌迷一样，跟了他们十年。

我其实不知道自己何时开始喜欢她们，注意她们。

我只知道我买的第一张cd是她们的！

那是移动城堡dvd！

我只知道让我认识她们我并不后悔（：

当年应该是爸爸很喜欢买些cd回来给我听，

我也很喜欢听歌。

然后我有三张她们的cd，（不是正版的）

forever，together，encore。

我好喜欢那三张！

如果没记错，当年应该是2005-06吧。

好像是小学四年级注意到他们的。

现在想起来，觉得好好笑哦！

当时我还只对ella的长相和歌声有印象+能辨认呢！

可能因为年级还小，

加上不太认识S.H.E，

我常常把S和H声音认错。

但后来当然就知道了啊！

也不知道是什么魔力，

她们竟然如此吸引我。

在短时间内就爱上她们了，而且很疯呢！

后来发现她们越来越多的优点，

加上知道她们的故事，

就慢慢加入了这个爱的大家族。

只要她们到新加坡，
我就一定想办法去参与活动。
现在当她们出新专辑或书，
第一时间去抢购好像也成了一种习惯。

她们经历了这第一个十年，

过程中的风风雨雨都是大家有目共睹的。

当然我相信，有些我们并不知道。

唱到80岁的约定没人忘记！

相信只要S.H.E在，这些三叶草也会陪着她们。

她们在我心目中不仅仅是偶像，更是我学习的对象！

她们实在有太多太多的优点！

在她们的身上，我不仅仅看见了S.H.E，

我更看见了奇迹，默契，包容，谅解，未来，同心协力，还有更多更多说不完的好处。

#17 - S.H.E 十岁啦！

2011-09-11T00:00:00.001+08:00

十岁啦！

是谁？谁十岁啦？

当然是S.H.E啦！

知道十年发生什么事了吗？

十年发生了911事件！

不是？哈哈！

是S.H.E出道啦！

记得十年前是11/09/2001，

十年后的今天11/09/2011，

好多东西都变了。

十年前我才五岁呢!

S.H.E还真是陪我长大！

十年时间，这世间多少的变化啊！

我都从小女生变成了个青少女，

三只则从女生成了小女人，更有魅力了。

当初她们出道的青色模样没了，

但他们的个性始终如一。

她们的自然，纯真，善良，等等等都让他们在演艺圈散发她们的独特魅力。

她们之所以能成为乐坛的传奇，女子天团，

自然有她们吸引人的地方。

她们虽然没遇到什么所谓的演艺圈低潮，

但却遇到了很多问题。

虽然如此，问题却没组织她们发光发热！

2001年911事件，

superstar发片期ella摔伤，

之后selina又被火烧伤。

这些都是我记得的，那些不记得的，较小的不知还有多少呢！

演艺圈较少遇到的倒霉事都被她们遇到了。

演艺圈事实无法预料，拍戏主持处处都是危险。

但倒霉的却是她们。

但她们有能力把这些危险变成她们的能量，

让她们更坚强，更美丽！

相信这次selina的事件一定会有意义！

她让我们对烧伤更有了解，

让我们学会了宽容，乐观，坚持！

他那柔弱的外表却藏着一个坚强的心，

做到了很多大家都做不到的事情。

相信当三只再度合体时，

必定是她们最漂亮的时候！

selina出事之前是美的，

但恢复之后不知脸蛋美丽，

更多了份内在美啊！

没出事大家可能把它当成公主，

但出事后一定更了解她，

更肯定她。

知道10周年是个很有意义的日子，

没办法隆重庆祝，

没办法看见S.H.E一起出现，

大家心里难免会难过。

但虽如此，这只是第一个十年。

S.H.E至少还有50年会陪着我们，

她们答应了要唱到80岁！

一个感情交叉的日子，

有着快乐，感动，伤心，遗憾，难以置信的日子。

我们应该开心快乐，把剩下的都忘记！

S.H.E很高性有我们陪着她们，

但我们更高兴又她们陪着我们！

我们感谢华研，

因为没有华研就没有S.H.E

我期待Selina早日康复，等待S.H.E合体！

不管多久，你们永远是我的最爱！

只要你们还在，就一定会有三叶草！

S.H.E十周年快乐！

#16 - horoscopes

2011-09-10T18:53:00.001+08:00

you can skip this post actually... haha(:

i just like how the horoscope describes capricorn,

let me understand myself more and agree to it.

at times, give me some confidence too(:

all taken from weibo, 最懂你的摩羯座

摩羯座脾气很倔，如果有一天，真的把他惹怒了。绝对敢和你同归于尽。让摩羯座消气很容易，不管是摩羯座男生还是摩羯座女生，也不管对异性或者同性，只要你撒撒娇说两句软话，保准摩羯座不会再有脾气。

摩羯的你是否经常狠不下心来做事，对自己不够狠，对别人也不够狠。所以，你总是黏黏糊糊，总是不忍心去拒绝别人，总是下不了决心让自己过的更好，总是缠绵过往不能自拔……优柔寡断的你，必须狠一次，否则你永远也活不出自己。

摩羯是一个非常单纯的星座，一般很少主动有自己的欲望。往往天真的把一切想的过于美好，因此毫无防备的把自己的全部都展现出来，用心去与人沟通说的就是摩羯这种傻得出奇的个性。当然，看似纯洁的不得了的天真性格背后，反面也是摩羯在成熟之后，要比任何星座都冷血残酷的原因所在。

有人说摩羯座心狠，说TA会很快忘记过去，而如果你走进了摩羯的心里，TA会很难转身，舍不得转身，即使你带给TA的会是伤痛.摩羯把自己小小的包裹起来，其实，摩羯很怕寂寞.TA很怕自己心爱的那个人消失，怕自己太依赖那个人，所以你也许会觉得TA冷漠，你不知在TA心里每天想你千遍万遍.

摩羯？我们很早熟，很早看清这个世界，我们所以冷血，只是为了保护自己！可是我们还是经常觉得终于找到个可以相信的人，却还是一次又一次被欺骗，只因太单纯！

摩羯的人生可以用认真来概括，他们热衷于工作，为实现他们远大的目标而努力着。对爱的认真度也是无法比拟的，他们的内心思想一直是非常保守传统的，不喜欢嘈杂的环境。他们对爱一心一意，认真的少了些许甜蜜的气氛，摩羯向往天长地久的爱情，男耕女织就像一幅爱情美画留在他们对爱的描绘里。

如果你的身边有摩羯座，请珍惜他，珍惜一个几乎连说谎都不会，做事直白的摩羯座。请不要伤害他们，他们会伪装，装坚强，装得无坚不摧。以至于他们的内心在快要跨的时候，你依然无法察觉。摩羯是一群善良的孩子，请珍惜朋友的他，爱人的他。

#摩羯座#的人其實很固執，待人處事有自己的一套方式，習慣性考慮他人的感受再考慮自己，往往把自己傷得很重，但轉過身卻微笑地告訴世界：我很好。對於自己認定的人和事，不管他人怎麼勸說都不為所動，除非是事情本身已經超出摩羯的預計，或已經令摩羯心淡。事實上，固執的摩羯卻未死心。

#摩羯座#最能HOLD住的亮点造型：紫色、黑色+独特的个人风格紫、黑色一直是都是神秘诱惑的代言，这两种颜色配给摩羯，简直就是天作之合！各大品牌几乎每季都会推出紫色、黑色的单品，因为它们都是气质提升必须的要素！而全身黑色也没有那么古板，让不同材质的单品混搭起来，立刻就能变身黑暗女王！

【摩羯座】可能会变得世故，却一辈子也无法圆滑。他们是如此热情如火又是如此冷若冰霜，他们是如此崇拜权力又是如此蔑视权威，他们是如此墨守陈规又是如此渴求自由，他们是如此追逐功成名就又是如此淡泊名利。(i super agree.. haha)

摩羯有排序强迫症,尤其是图片.有严重的爱情洁癖,第一眼感觉不对很难会有发展的可能,喜欢的理想型有固定的类型.生了气死不承认，非说没生气。但说起话来，就爱答不理的.自信心不是那么的强.相信直觉，可以说是个跟着感觉走的人.和陌生人能轻松地打招呼。然而要成为朋友，计时器是从“半年“开始计数.

摩羯就像猫一样天生拥有戒备心。领地意识很强，自己的东西，其他人没经过自己的同意便触碰，心里就会有小疙瘩。像猫一般懒散，做事慢悠悠，算好时间。看似热情，但实际上性子很淡，不会太过亲近，也不会过于远离。

摩羯缺点，无趣到死的木头人，不只身边的人会因为觉得你太无趣，连你自己都受不了再继续过这种了无新意的生活，却无能为力改变这种现状！可怜的是，偏偏魔羯又是世上野心最大的人，所以长期压抑下来的结果，不是得了忧郁症，就是变成变态狂！永远活在过去的成就跟阴影当中。

“缺乏真正的自信”常是摩羯座的通病，摩羯很喜欢自省，对自己的标准很高，即使他们在旁人眼中已经很是优秀，听到别人的赞美，依然不自信。就算到某一天，他们真的意识到自己的力量的时候，也会在某件事情做得不如想象中完美时，再次小小地不自信一下。

如果你不小心爱上了摩羯座，请别因为摩羯不肯沟通和解释去解决问题而愤愤不平。摩羯只是不知道该怎么说出口，有些话摩羯觉得你会懂，就不必每天说给你听。冷静地告诉摩羯，你的委屈和疑问。告诉摩羯，你需要他的帮助和安慰。摩羯会慢慢学会理解你并且努力避免误会再次发生。

#摩羯座#各种血型的特点： A型（严以律已，刚毅不屈，安份守已，克已守礼）；B型（执著在自己感兴趣的世界中，自我主见不强，往往矛人一种很朴实的感觉）；O型（肯拼实干，不服输，只是会要求别人跟你一样的努力，而导致矛盾）；AB型（交朋友得心应手，有强烈的好奇心与多方面的兴趣）

摩羯座，很没有安全感的一类人，不轻易与人心与心沟通。喜欢一个人从来不说，假装不在意，不喜欢。不喜欢主动出击。但是事业心比较很强。典型的工作狂。有责任心。外冷内热。

在朋友面前，摩羯真是一个超闷的人，别人总是看不懂TA的愤怒不满与哀愁，但是他当TA臭着一张脸走进朋友圈，就很有本事让气氛瞬间冰却，令人觉得：[唉，又变成扑克脸了。] 没办法，悲观的TA经常在回忆里。

魔羯的冷漠，其实只是伪装，缺少安全感，每当觉得不被在乎时，就会戴上冰冷的面具，害怕受到伤害，唯有伪装自己，为自己筑起一堵墙。其实小羯儿都是嘴硬心软的，如果你爱她就包容她吧，在她撒娇赌气时哄哄她，慢慢融化她吧，不要以为强硬有什么效果哟，小羯儿们可不吃这套。

摩羯遇到对的人就会认定是一辈子的人，摩羯不会随便对你说一句我爱你，因为摩羯觉得说出来就要付出行动，如果你是那个人，你会发现摩羯和你在一起的时候，不会严肃，会露出笑面，会默默做些让你感到的事，而且什么事都会顺着你，视你为全世界，所以说，被摩羯座爱着的人是幸福的。

在土星守护下的摩羯座女子，个性上多少会有一些抑郁的倾向。她们绝少有轻易吐露心事的习惯。所以，如果你爱上她，你可得用心体贴她的感受。大体上说，她是不怎么乐观的。她不是不相信会有美好的未来，但是她肯定所有的未来必定要靠自己的努力去奋斗。

大家都说魔羯座的人既死脑筋又讲究实际，可他们却特别喜欢想一些很理论的事情，像是哲学、宗教或精神层次的问题。不但如此，他们在这些问题上的观念不但一点也不保守，有时甚至还很前卫呢！而且他们喜欢让自己的头脑漫游在各式各样的问题里，像是宇宙的浩瀚啦，人为什么要活着啦等等。

摩羯一直为自己而感到困惑，骄傲、遗憾、后悔、都是一种感觉而已。不喜欢的、喜欢的、又奇怪又正常的她们自己也不明白。摩羯女生，在过去的记忆里，她做过很多该做却又没做，不该做却又做了，明知道做了一定会后悔的事。是爱面子，是输不起，倔强的有点愚蠢的她们自己也不明白。

摩羯座绝对不是容易三心二意的情人，这一点几乎无须质疑，他们会很实在地去看待爱情，因为踏实的摩羯座要完全认定一个人是件很不容易的事，而他们花很长时间、很多精力来认定的这个人必定是他们执着的对象，一旦成为摩羯座眼中的“真命爱人”，你就等于拥有了一个足以十分相信并依赖的爱人。

典型的摩羯…宁愿硬撑到死也不要别人看到她的泪…宁愿一个人舔伤口也不愿意让别人看到他的伤…宁愿被唔会也不愿意去解释…其实摩羯不坚强…他只是在硬撑…可惜的是没人懂…摩羯想有人懂却又怕人懂…

摩羯都是肯吃委屈的人，更多时候宁愿自己背负不属于自己的黑锅也要维护别人，这不是伟大，只是他们觉得如果委屈自己能让事情平息，他们绝对会这样做。当然，如果你看到只疯狂的摩羯不顾任何都说了，只能表明无尽的委屈也不能解决事情，这些重担已经严重超过承受力了。

摩羯对于旧爱很绝情！倒不是因为摩羯多冷酷，而是他真的不懂得如何表达他心目中的为情感所累之事。在他们的字典中，一不情人，一不敌人，就像电一样，要么有电，要么没电，没有第三种可能。但说到底，你们复原的时间，其实比其它星座情人还要长。绝情与浓情，就在电源的开与关。

魔羯的人可能会拿任何事情开玩笑，但是在爱情方面只要他说出"我爱你"或者话题谈到将来结婚，那么他绝对不是在开玩笑，魔羯很物质，但是这点和金牛处女不一样，他们的物质表现在爱上，他们认为给所爱的人带来无限的物质的就是最大的幸福，因为他们很自卑，唯一能用自己努力获得来的就只有物质了。

“懒”对于摩羯是一种气质。摩羯们大多带有一种云淡风清的性格，觉得世上好象没有什么事值得特别关心，对什么事都不是特别感兴趣，抱着一种无所谓的态度。好像天下没有任何事值得摩羯紧张的。态度决定一切！所以，无欲无求的摩羯们做事当然就显得很懒啦。但他们一旦发现目标，那是执着得让你无法想象。

摩羯座的人:很敏感，看似什么都不计较，不细心，其实是我在包容你，所以我会假装什么都不知道。摩羯座的人:最不能容忍没有睡眠，却常常失眠。摩羯座的人:有点害羞，很保守，只有做足了准备，才会放手去做。摩羯座的人:不善表达自己的情感，所以常常用沉默取代表达。

摩羯是个重视友情的人,但请你不要一次又一次的糟蹋她的感情；摩羯是一个珍惜朋友的人,但请你不要将她的珍惜当成垃圾；摩羯系个不容易哭的人,但请你不要一次又一次惹她哭；摩羯是个对朋友大度的人,但请你不要好一次又一次伤害她. 朋友的伤害对于摩羯来说是最痛的。

摩羯座的人是很不能接受别人开他玩笑的。他们久缺幽默感。或者说，他们无法随时随地运用幽默感来润滑人际关系。他们常毫不禁讳地表露出“我很在乎”的样子，即使也常迅速地装出“我才不在乎哩”，仍全在别人眼中了。这也可以说他们很“真”。不好的说法，当他们作假的时候，一眼就会被看穿。

摩羯座装傻装糊涂是真正的的高手，摩羯的观察力可以说是12星座最强的星座，对方稍有不慎，敏锐的摩羯心里已经替你出局了，极度讨厌虚假的人，却从不拒绝这样的人，这就是摩羯，天真的眼神中带着聪慧的头脑，遇强则更强的万王之王。

haha... ok, i think i spammed alot(:

hmm... think i will start preparing the post for midnight after dinner.

was thinking to write in english or chinese...

maybe both... haha(:

#15 - updates

2011-09-10T18:25:00.000+08:00

hehe... really spamming alot this few days.. haha(:

next post will be on horoscopes,

right after i post this(:

then i think i will start preparing the post i wanna post at midnight.

idk if you guys know anot,

but it's 911 tomorrow!

someone's turning 10(:

what a memorable day...

details will be in the next post(:

actually i realised some of my post i like typing nonsense like that :p

haha...

like the previous post.

got meaning, but i just type a bunch of words,

didn't really organise... haha.

thinking of alot stuff ba...

then will mix this and that feelings together...

haha...

worried about the big change happening next year,

but also the upcoming EOY.

i know myself well,

the lazy-ness... haha.

plus whenever i have the confidence in the subject,

it will turn out the opposite...

weird person.. haha.

like when i prepare alot,

end up i more nervous.

so prepare also wrong, don't prepare also wrong.

hmmm... ok la. complaining too much again.

was supposed to be an update only.. haha(:

and i think i will write a chinese post soon.

thought of it yesterday,

i think i can express better with that.

but i forget what content i wanna write le... haha

#14 - updates

2011-09-08T21:17:00.003+08:00

ok i know i'm crazy...
but cause really nothing mch to do, but i have alot feelings,
need somewhere to talk.
slacking and slacking with the computer,
but i actually didn't have much stuff as i finish up almost everything with the long hours.
but idk what to do other than being with it..
i'm supposed to start writing and preparing my physics notes for EOY,
something which i've planned long ago,
cause i know my physics dropping already.
but, even physics i also lazy... what more about the other subjects can you expect?

going around the blogs,
somehow i feel i can't connect with the world can i?
maybe it's just myself being sensitive la... haha.
but idk, i feel somehow tired of interacting with people.
i love the feeling of being round people you are comfortable with,
i can understand what they are thinking and feeling,
but i simply cant make comments.
like... i cant express myself properly?
i think it's just myself lazy la...
because when i wanna talk,
i will talk a whole bunch of stuff,
then stop and silence.

i wonder someday i meet someone exactly same as me,
how would i feel... haha.
looking at blogs and tweets of people around the same age,
some kind of feeling i can't really understand.
maybe because i don't feel and view the same?

i was typing something, but eventually erased it.
i don't think it's appropiate to write, somehow weird.
suan le... haiz.

#13 - thoughts & plans

2011-09-08T17:33:00.002+08:00

hi, i'm back again(:
i know after i return from msia, i've been spamming post...
haha(:
just have too much stuff to say suddenly,
and i actually remember them.
i think i will still spam in the following days...
haven update about the trip still.. haha

this post will be partially about a portion of the trip,
but mixture with things i thought through in the past.
cause some matters cannot be sorted out easily ma.. haha
actually i'm still pondering through the matter,
but at least i've cleared some path out(:
so i'm actually having a clearer view of where i will be heading.

being at SEPETANG,
i have time to think over the subject matter.
as i mentioned in the 1st few post,
i'm super confused over what course to choose.
without an aim,
i don't know how am i supposed to keep myself going forward.
although i will think of matters at every moment of time i might find,
but still, it's part and partial which at times don't link up.
being away from singapore and the internet,
i'm actually abit relieved... haha(:
because without the internet,
i would have alot spare time there.
i would use the spare time to really consider the problem,
even the time before i sleep,
instead of using every moment to go online,
chase after shows i might have watched alot times.

1 of the days,
i was in the room and i was actually thinking about the course.
because i talked to a primary school chinese teacher previously,
she actually encourages me to take the teacher path if i really had interest in it.
obviously, the scholarship offered by that course is attractive,
and it's the most stable job among all my choices i think.
government job,
i won't have to worry about my whole life.
but, will i stand the job without changes?
i know i like kids,
i would enjoy teaching them.
but nowadays kids not as easy to teach as before,
we're great examples ourselves.
then, i couldn't really stand going to school now already,
would i be able to stand it in the future?
good and bad about this job... haha.
i'm really quite attracted to it,
because i would get to earn earlier than other friends,
and i won't have to worry about the schooling life.
my poly years would be much relaxed as compared.
but again, i remember, i actually wanted to go taiwan to work.
that was one of my aim... haha.
but that will mean being away from my family and friends,
but so?
i'm not going to emigrate there afterall...
i love to stay there, work there, maybe even start a family there.
but, i would keep my singapore citizenship.
because i love singapore as much as taiwan,
and i know singapore is my homeland.

music & technology, interior design, actually almost all the other subjects,
will give me a chance to go taiwan to pursue a job.
but, is it worth the sacrifice?
afterall, everything i have is in singapore,
my childhood and memories are in singapore.
another plan is that,
maybe i could get a house when i have the ability in future in taiwan,
go there few times in the year when i'm free...
haha... i think i'm dreaming alot...
where possible right..
plane tickets not like very cheap de...

i actually wanted to put my aim in music & technology already,
but i was thinking,
do i really meet the requirements?
can i really do it?
i want to write lyrics,
but can i?
i may seems mature, but my life experience isn't as much as others afterall.
if i'm not talented enough,
with only a cert from m&t,
what job can i do in future?
it's a limited industry after all.

interior design is also something i don't haven confidence in,
because i'm afraid i cannot excel...
i know no pain no gain,
but i'm afraid of making the wrong step.
tranferring school actually makes me grow alot,
i start to think of every step i make.
life will be tiring if i do that,
but because every turn leads a different future,
so i hope to make the right turn.

i think in the end, i might just choose the teaching path.
because it's the safest way.
but by choosing that way = my life would be fixed for the 9 years.
3yrs of poly,
1yr of NIE,
5yrs of teaching.
i won't have to worry about the pay,
but i'm worrying is my interest there?
not only because of myself,
because i only waste that 5 yrs,
i can always leave after that,
go learn new stuff and start another new path.
but i don't wish to waste the students' youth too...
primary school, a foundation period.
at times, this may decide how their chinese would be in the future.

therefore, now my problem is,
what i really want?
where do i want to go/stay?
am i willing to take the risk?
where is my interest at?
what life i hope to live?
what is my limits of sacrificing?

currently those are the questions i can think of.. haha.
but at least when i can answer those questions,
i might find a clearer view of which to choose.
another main thing would be the open house and the career guide next year.
after those, would be the exams,
then my destiny would be set.

#12 - 田馥甄 . 還是要幸福

2011-09-07T23:52:00.002+08:00

還是要幸福田馥甄

曲：張簡君偉詞：徐世珍/司魚編曲：盧家宏、JerryC

不確定就別親吻感情很容易毀了一個人
一個人若不夠狠愛淡了不離不棄多殘忍

你留下來的垃圾我一天一天總會丟完的
我甚至真心真意的祝福永恆在你的身上先發生

你還是要幸福你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕別跟著我銘心刻骨

你還是要幸福我才能確定我還得很清楚
確定自己再也不會佔據你的篇幅
明天開始這一切都結束

還我鑰匙的備份我覺得再見可以很單純
我甚至真心真意的祝福永恆在你的身上先發生

你還是要幸福你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕別跟著我銘心刻骨

你還是要幸福我才能確定我還得很清楚
確定自己再也不會佔據你的篇幅
明天開始這一切都結束

你還是要幸福你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕別跟著我銘心刻骨

你如果很幸福半夜的簡訊我就無需回覆
因為你的悲喜已經有了容身之處我也能有最純粹的孤獨

最孤獨的孤獨

i think this song is the song i like most in the whole album,
as usual, the same sad style.
when i first heard this song,
the 1st thing i thought after i finish listening is 'wow!nice!and so similar with 寂寞寂寞就好'
haha... idk if you guys have the same feeling.
but if i care to edit,
i think the two songs really can connect together.
both very sad.
寂寞寂寞就好 is super 自虐 style,
this is abit 自虐, but even more is the wish for him to be better.
similar is that both super sad, and very pain.

this song's mv story is actually mermaid's story,
like both of them very happy,
but in the end the guy still left the mermaid.
and the mermaid have to go back to her world or such.
from what i feel,
the mermaid still love the guy,
but the love is another kind already,
not the kind which you have to have that person,
but you hope that the person is living in happiness.
by having happiness for him,
then you can move on.
you hope that he will learn from this relationship,
then treat the girl in future better,
not to repeat history.
you wish to disappear from his world,
because you believe in that manner,
he will be more happy than before.

hmmm... like a short review of what i feel of the song lor.
actually abit feeling may be from what hebe explains or other fans.
that's what i feel lor..
cause i know my language standard not as high as them,
and i didn't have as much life experience,
so i don't think i can totally understand the full meanings of the songs.
something i'm still working hard to achieve... haha.

#11 - 田馥甄「妳」

2011-09-07T23:38:00.002+08:00

演唱：田馥甄 Hebe
曲：吳青峰詞：吳青峰編曲：黃雨勳製作：王治平、郭文宗

黑夜妳獨自面對多少的夢魘我不瞭解
但我知道藍天終究會出現暴雨的終點是一片草原
看著妳偶爾清醒偶爾睡偶爾沮喪掉下淚
妳的痛我永遠無法體會但我明白我的心和妳同一邊

那些巨大的狂烈搖晃你世界一夕之間
但我看見一切都不曾改變妳笑開的臉像一朵玫瑰

等著妳偶爾放晴偶爾灰偶爾想逃回從前
妳的痛我不能代替一點但我多想時間能走得快一些

心越漆黑夢越燦爛紛飛

陪著妳偶爾信心偶爾累偶爾堅強到心碎
最寂寞是痛找不到語言但我希望我的歌到妳心裡面

太陽出現曬妳那所有的美

hehe... i posted this version instead of the cd one,
cause i think this live version is better.
this live version can feel the feelings in the song better too(:
the lyrics was really written nicely,
said alot of feelings about people beside selina.
this live version can really hear and see that hebe put alot feelings in it.

i personally like the lyrics and the combination of the tune,
the nice mixture it gives.
by looking at the videos since selina had the accident,
this song describes even more about how they feel.
although it's a sad song,
but at the same time,
the song shows how cheerful selina is,
and encourages people to be cheerful.
after all, if we compare ourselves to her,
the problems we face is nothing as compared.
since she can face the pain cheerfully everyday,
trying to cheer people up when she is the one in pain,
then why we can't face the small problem and try to solve it?

#10 - 田馥甄, my love

2011-09-07T17:25:00.001+08:00

i think there will be 2 more post coming up later about songs,

so bear with me ok.. haha.

afterall, i'm a crazy person over music.

but of course, i'm good at listening only. haha.

you must be wondering why the title is '田馥甄, my love' right?

S.H.E is my love, nothing will change.

but she is not my love, this time 'my love' is her album title(:

songs in this new album:

【專輯曲目】

1.烏托邦

2.要說什麼

3.My Love

4.請你給我好一點的情敵

5.還是要幸福

6.魔鬼中的天使

7.無事生非

8.花花世界

9.影子的影子

10.妳

personally, i feel she improved in her singing for this album again.

and i like this album even more than the previous one. haha.

in this album, not only she sing what she wants to sing,

i actually enjoyed listening to all the songs.

i feel that both albums from her have a very relaxing effect.

this new album 'MY LOVE' attracts me partly because is hebe sing de,

but more of it is because she actually gets me to listen to some music styles which i don't normally listen.

normally when S.H.E sing happy song i will listen,

but actually i don't like it as much as compared to other styles.

but when this new album is out,

songs like no. 2 and 8 for example,

actually attracts me to listen and like it..

2 is unique as it is written by her and the background music consist of Ukulele,

something really going famous recently. haha.

the music Ukulele produce makes a happy tune,

therefore changing the way her lyrics are expressed.

actually i feel all 3 of them have the potential for personal albums as they have their own unique-ness,

but it's still their own choice to make one or not.

but something i have to say is that their company is sort of quite good ba...

towards them perharps,

cause their albums don't really edit much of music i feel.

by listening to live and comparing it to the cd you can understand already.

but still, live is much nicer as compared.

#09 - updates

2011-09-07T16:57:00.001+08:00

hehe(:

yo, i'm back from trip(:
quite a nice trip,

although nothing really special,

but i still enjoyed the trip.

actually missed the computer and internet,(shows how addicted i am)

but i think it's good la.

stay away from virtual world for a moment.

else the computer will soon become my partner liao.

cannot live without it. haha.

hmmm... will update about details of the trip soon in the next few days i think(:

currently lazy la... haha(:

i think i will change the playlist today,

till maybe a month later or something like that?

the playlist will be playing hebe's new album.

later i will post another post about her new album,

hehe...

#08 - updates

2011-08-28T20:26:00.002+08:00

hmmm...
this post is sort of to inform you guys ba...
cause this week only got 1 and a half day of school,
and next week would be school holiday(:
for a week. LOL...

so......
i'm going to m'sia - JB on tuesday 30/8.
it's for cutting hair only la.
but might be going walk around with my mum. haha.
then,
will be going to my mum's side granma house,
at m'sia. LOL...
the trip will be from 2/9 to maybe 6 or 7 ba.
about 4-5 days lor...
been years since i went back le,
so i'm excited... haha(:
although nothing much there la.
lols.
anw the place is sepetang,
under simpang, or taiping.
i don't think you guys really know the place ba.. haha.
but i know it's somehow hours away from penang only.
so, maybe will got penang too.
going back with my mum this time.
i'll try to get souvenirs for you dears if i can kaes?
cause there might not be much stuff to buy,
plus we don't have car so travelling around would be difficult.

hmm...
like this only ba. haha
overall,
i'm looking quite forward actually.
XD
cause i think more or less about 4 years didn't go there le.
mum always say want go but didn't go in the end.
this time, confirm le(:
haha
cause the tickets buy le,
so don't want to go also have to go.
but grassland de tickets sold out le..
like so super fast.
then bought another company's ticket which idk the name,
but not five star de lor.

#07 - blog details and misc...

2011-08-27T22:53:00.002+08:00

hmm...
mainly blog is just according to the simple theme lor.
change to blogger cause blogskin sot sot le,
then i'm lazy to find new one or make one myself.
so decided to use blogger.. haha...

meaning for this blog i think i said before in the 1st post le.
changed abit blogging style,
like adding the numbering.
i would like to state i'm not trying to copy anyone ok...
cause i know quite alot ppl using numbering now.
numbering the post is maybe,
a way to record down the footsteps ba.
something same like my blog name la.

hmmm...
i know, sometimes i write alot personal stuff on my blog.
actually deep down i don't like,
because it's like exposing myself to everyone.
i prefer to keep everything to myself..
but because i keep too much stuff,
sometimes it feels really tired..
so writing about myself actually helps me to release some sort of stress too.
but still, i feel quite unease la..
maybe will minimise on it or something, idk.

future partner,
i'm looking for someone who can understand me,
someone who knows without me explaining.
of course not everything,
because it's impossible.
but at least hope that he will understand my character.
something like that.
because i know i set alot of targets for the unknown person,
but when he appears,
i'm sure he doesn't meet them.
because targets are like dreams,
while the future one should be a kind of feeling.

and for those who don't understand me,
i can tell you that i won't get into a relationship before leaving sec sch.
something i can say, is 99.99%.
because i said before,
nothing on this world is 100% possible or impossible.
everything can be possible in this world.
everything is 50:50,
but the percentile will change with alot factors.

relationship before leaving sec sch is like a taboo for me, perhaps.
you can say me old fashion or what,
i don't care.. haha.
it's a kind of persistant for me ba..
of course i do it for reasons.
there's alot reasons behind that,
but i won't say it out here.
i cherish, therefore i like to protect it.

ok, i think i'm saying too much... haha.

#06 - confidence

2011-08-27T18:49:00.003+08:00

hmmm...
to be truthful,
i can say i don't really have any confidence in myself.
almost 0%.
why, i'm not sure either.
character based ba...
just like i have the abilities,
but still i won't suceed,
maybe because i don't want to do.
and 1 reason not to do is because of the lack of confidence.

next year is 0 levels,
in fact not even a year to count ba..
i'm somehow not prepared at all...
about 4 more weeks to SA2,
but i'm actually somehow slacking still..
i did study more,
tried to prepare,
but i don't think i did as much as others...
like... idk how to say.
i'm aiming for an all pass,
in fact i hope all above or at least B4.
but, i have no confidence to achieve it.

i know i didn't say before,
people may not notice it either.
i always look like i didn't care about the marks,
but i actually cared.
i will also worry about the marks,
be dissapointed at my own marks,
because i actually set an aim...
but so what?
i knew i didn't work hard enough,
didn't deserve to achieve the marks.
that's why i hate people comparing marks..
firstly,
to compare is to prove that you are better only.
but being better proves what?
you are more clever? no...
because IQ and EQ doesn't only depends on your studies...

idk what i can do to keep myself studying,
what to do to keep myself moving forward...
sometimes really tired,
tired of having to push myself forward...
sometimes really hate the feeling of waking up in the morning,
because i hoped i didn't have to face a new day.
but at the same time i hope for a day with happiness.
reluctance...

#05 - 叶子

2011-08-22T19:15:00.002+08:00

mainly gonna talk about this song today,
叶子.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvYfoz8zR2s , original version.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGb4ydfRuE4&feature=related , hebe version.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMm7tA8ObtE , rainie version.
rainie version actually got latest version nicer,
but youtube not out yet i guess.
i know there's alot more version,
but these are the few i heard lo.

曲/ 詞︰陳曉娟　編︰洪筠慧
葉子　是不會飛翔的翅膀
翅膀　是落在天上的葉子
天堂　原來應該不是妄想
只是我早已經遺忘
當初怎麼開始飛翔

＊
孤單　是一個人的狂歡
狂歡　是一群人的孤單
愛情　原來的開始是陪伴
但我也漸漸地遺忘
當時是怎樣有人陪伴

＃
我一個人吃飯旅行　到處走走停停
也一個人看書寫信　自己對話談心
只是心又飄到了哪裡
就連自己看也看不清
我想我不僅僅是失去你
(重唱)

葉子　是不會飛翔的翅膀
翅膀　是落在天上的葉子

was reminded of this song by watching rainie sing,
then i remember how much i loved this song.
although it's really sad song,
with alot of sad stories,
but it is really nice.
meaningful,
and nice no matter who sings it.
i think it's the credit of the composer and writer...
also the classic singing by ah sang.

this part was one of my favourite part...
'葉子　是不會飛翔的翅膀
翅膀　是落在天上的葉子'
i like how she writes the two sentence with the same letters,
but different meaning.
if you notice,
actually most of the lyrics go in the same writing manner.

#04 - Family

2011-08-21T23:02:00.002+08:00

recently suddenly feel like watching 溏心风暴之家好月圆,
so i went to watch it, actually chiong. haha.
cause i know i shouldn't be watching shows,
i should be trying to catch up with my homework.
but i still watch it,
eventually chiong finish by today.
i think i watched almost 10 episodes in today.

while watching this show, i realised and learnt alot.
the show mainly talked about family,
and i like the part alot.

i realised, actually i care for my family alot.
not only this family with 4 of us,
but actually the big family.
those who are close would know,
my family is actually very big.

it's almost an routine,
i dislike their way of teaching and stuff,
i don't like people to teach me what to do,
but i don't really show my anger at them or stuff.
i will only 忍.
because i know my character.
no matter how angry i am towards them,
they are still my family members.
and the point of view from them may be different,
but whatever they do is for my own good.
they just want the best for me,
they hope that we don't have to go through the same as them.
i can understand, but afterall i'm still a teenager.
they don't understand me i don't mind,
cause they have their own problems.

i know these few years alot things happened at home.
i know, i don't have the abilities to change or stop anything.
i don't have the abilities to help,
i don't even know the truth.. maybe.
but no matter what,
they are still my family,
something which cannot be changed.

what i would like to say is,
family and friends,
is equally important to me.
some friends i really cannot lose,
if my family tries to break us up,
i wouldn't listen.
but if the same thing happen,
you ask me to choose between family and friends,
i think i would choose family.
because i understand that if the friends are true,
they will know why i chose family.
but at the same time,
my family will always be there no matter what,
but they might not understand how i feel.

as my horoscope says,
'a capricorn loves to notice others,
tries to understand others,
and can eventually see through them very quickly.'
'it's not because they want to do something bad to the person,
but it's because they can find security from it.'

i will say more about this in future.
but what i'm trying to say is,
i normally know how the person feels or something,
if i spent enough time noticing.
it's a born in character of mine.
i know my family members mean good will,
that's why i won't hurt them.

actually no matter family situations,
isn't this happening in all families?
i know 家家有本难念的经,
but i think most parents will want the best for their kids.
no matter bias or what,
they still care.

i don't mind even if my parent were to be bias to my brother,
because they are still my parents.
even if they were to abuse me,
when i grow up and earn money,
i will still take care of them.
why?
because what i know is,
it's my responsibility to take care of them.
no matter if they did their responsibility or not,
i have to do my part.
and if you want your kids to respect you in future,
don't give them a reason to disrespect you.

#03 - Showbiz(taiwan)

2011-08-15T22:33:00.002+08:00

i can only talk about taiwan showbiz as i only pay more attention to it.
but i think most showbiz is in similar situations,
cause taiwan is one of the bigger showbiz afterall.

as everyone knows, i pay attention to alot singers to be specific.
but maybe you guys didn't notice,
when i start to notice them,
it's normally cause i realise the effort they put in.
definitely, everyone puts in a certain amount of effort,
cause it's impossible to gain without losing isn't it?
but what attracts me is the perhaps perseverance?

or mainly, their story.
let me list them out accordingly,
maybe not all, but those which i pay more attention.
this post is gonna be long :p

my ultimate love, S.H.E.
they did not have a hard life as compared to many others in the industry.
selina, hebe, ella, actually got into the showbiz at the wrong time, but also the right choice.
what they always say, 天时，地利，人和.
when they entered, it was the worst period for a band or group,
but they suceeded, partially because of the plan,
but mainly it's their person i think.
they released their 1st album on 11/9/2001.
yes, that's when the 911 incident happened.
all news was with 911, they couldn't really get a share. maybe small one, i forget le.
but they still got people going to the autograph session, weird. haha.
maybe because they enter with this pure and innocent character and age,
they got pass the first few albums without really knowing much,
but learning at the same time i guess.
then i know ella got hurt before superstar was released,
or maybe during that period.
it was a challenge for them,
but they did go through it,
then i think after more than 6months,
ella returned to the group, cheerful again. haha.
i don't remember much of the inside stuff in such a short time,
but i think the next incident would be selina's incident now which all know.
it's a big incident,
not as easy to recover as ella's,
and would follow her for the rest of her live.
but i believe they would manage to work pass this, hopefully.
it's hard to express why you like them,
because people won't understand it.
like some people can just fake that they like,
but you can see the passion clearly, it's too obvious.
mainly i don't go after them for their looks,
afterall, too many chio ppl in showbiz.
but their feeling perhaps.
haha... so hard to express...

next would be rainie yang 杨丞林.
she was the one whom gave me the idea to post. haha
cause i watch alot videos about a person once i notice them,
definitely not as much as s.h.e. haha.
but she got this video just release which she talks about her life,
her views and stuff like that,
i realised, i really like watching them talk.
because there's too much i get to learn from them.
like rainie, she actually gone through a bitter way,
i knew her, but i didn't really notice her previously.
but when i start to go in deeper,
you will see the kind of mentality she has, which couldn't be found in me. or us.
her family was a broken one without dad,
and her dad actually left debts for her mum to clear.
she actually used all her earnings to help her mum to clear the debts,
and it actually lasted for like about 7-8years i think.
imagine the amount, since they actually earn more in showbiz.
like... wow...
the passion, the hard work, the motivation... alot more, idk.
they put in so much.

next up would be show luo 罗志祥.
his story is much similar to rainie's i have realised.
but his dad actually passed away.
his mum was his motivation, and of course, the passion.
people who work in this industry,
or maybe those who i notice,
all work for the passion.
show actually worked harder than others too like rainie,
because they wasn't as smooth sailing as s.h.e,
they actually had times which they couldn't receive applause,
or even receive negative comments.
but that is what pushes them on,
and what makes them as sucessful as today.

lastly, shadya lan 蓝又时.
people may not hear or know her,
but i think u guys seen her name quite alot of times as i talked about her often.
she was a special case,
cause all the above are sucessful and known artist,
but she is not.
she is still someone with a small amount of fame only,
but she gained my attention,
because of the same reason.
her story, was one of the worst.
her parents divorce and both remarried when she was young,
nobody wanted her as they had their individual new families.
her mum's dad which is her grandad and aunt from that side took care of her.
she tries to be the 开心果 like ella in the family.
but still, she knows it is not really a home for her.
because the aunts would get married,
grandad would get old and move in with others one day,
where would she be then?
she have no place to go,
she belongs nowhere.
one day when she was really depressed,
she called everyone whom she had number and asked them,
why do i not have a home? (in chinese of course)
when i heard this part, i was super sad,
i feel her, the feeling of insecure.
everyone she called cried.
then she asked her mum too,
her mum said, no choice.
her aunt and grandad said they didn't know she felt that way.
then i forget is it the same day or another day,
she was so depressed,(they had windows at a low level)
she actually tries to or went pass the window.
luckily her friend actually pulled her back.
then she cried, and cried and cried,
like there's no tomorrow.
her friend actually video it down and showed it to her when she calmed down or some other day.
she actually said, what she feels when she saw the video,
'我觉得她一定很痛。'
as in cry til really pain, really the kind of pain which cannot be described.
she said she couldn't explain why did she act that way on that day,
the crying and sucide.
but after all now,
she's a talented singer and composer.
hopefully she can get famous someday and have her albums in Singapore.

i think the pain which she feels is really deep.
i can understand and depict,
but i know what i feel is not what they feel at that moment.
because i'm not them,
and i didn't go through the exact same situation.

i think i love to learn from them.
how i wish they could just produce books or stuff like that,
record down all these.
like their optimistic, something i really have to learn from.
selina's optimistic perhaps.
because rainie said now ppl are more saddist,
and i do agree.
i hope to achieve their optimistic,
and actually alot more stuff i could learn.
i think the only way to learn is through years and experiences after all.

#02 - Footsteps to achieve dreams

2011-08-14T12:50:00.002+08:00

i think i should do a blog post on the courses i'm looking at currently,
so that i can have a better view of it too myself(:

firstly, let's talk about SP, singapore polytechnic
since i'm actually aiming to go there as the course suits me more.

Computer Engineering
Music & Audio Technology
Interior Design

those 3 are the main ones, cause other 2 is not so idealist for me.
then, it's NP, ngee ann polytechnic.

Electronic & Computer Engineering
Sustainable Urban Design & Engineering
Network System & Sercurity
Mass Communication
Chinese Media & Communication
Chinese Studies
Psychology Studies

yep. so there's altogether 10 courses, some actually similar.
i took out some, cause i think high possibility i wont take them...
but still, it's hard to choose in these 10 subjects already,
with about 6 main ones in my mind.

#01 - Th-Dreams

2011-08-13T23:25:00.000+08:00

Just like what my blog link is,
(Th-Dreams)
in my life,
every step is a dream.
there's this saying, 'life's like dream'.

no matter if it's a good dream, or a bad dream,
it's a footstep left behind.
dream, consist of the past, and the future.
dreams we had in the past are memories,
dreams we have for the future is light.

i hope that this blog would be like a dream,
it records my views of the past and future,
records my memories,
records what i have gone through,
and would record the future too.

Th-Dreams

#38 - capricorn~

#37 - Random

#36 - guitar

#35 - 27 december 2011

#34 - christmas celebration

#33 - birthday planning(:

#32 - What's Wrong?

#31 - I'm Back!

#30 - shopping with mum(:

#29 - 謝謝你們 愛我的每個人

#28 - Life

#27 - Exams Over(:

#26 - partially clear

#25 - today

#24 - updates

#23 - Worries

#22 - dunearn life

#21 - recent life

#20 - 旋风管家

#19 - precious 911

#18 - S.H.E

#17 - S.H.E 十岁啦！

#16 - horoscopes

#15 - updates

#14 - updates

#13 - thoughts & plans

#12 - 田馥甄 . 還是要幸福

#11 - 田馥甄 「妳」

#10 - 田馥甄, my love

#09 - updates

#08 - updates

#07 - blog details and misc...

#06 - confidence

#05 - 叶子

#04 - Family

#03 - Showbiz(taiwan)

#02 - Footsteps to achieve dreams

#01 - Th-Dreams

#29 - 謝謝你們愛我的每個人

#11 - 田馥甄「妳」